One year ago..

Well im still recovering and walking arund in a daze. Its almost 4 in the afternoon and I haven't done anything i think im still reeling from my amazing time yesterday. For those of you who didn't know yesterday me and my baby went to celebrate our 1 year anniversary ( which to date happens to be today ). We stayed at this hotel that although wasn't one of the best it was very cosy and set the right mood for the occasion. To sum it up it was probably one of the most relazing days I've had where we did absolutely nothing and it felt great. We ordered room service ( the beef stroganoff looked kinda scary & we got ripped off bad with the breadrolls hehe) and for that one day we thought of nothing but ourselves. Now any average person woudl think that being holed up in a hotel room for 19 hours would send you up the wall, but to me it wasn't even enough. Time flew by so fast that before i knew it i was prodding my baby awake to go home ( because someones alarm clock didnt go off).
Last night was one of those unforgettable moments that i had in life.
Candles, Bubbles and a single ring...An experience that no matter what happens to you in the future it will always stick with you. We've been through a lot of shit this last year, the things we have had to overcome just to be together has proved to myelf that he is worth it and at the end of the day nothing but his love matters to me more. I might not always be the perfect girlfriend nor is he the perfect boyfriend but to me i see his imperfections as features that i have learned to love about him. His smile, His eyes when they light up, They way he holds me and tells me everything is going to be fine even when we both know that they might not be, His voice when he gets sleepy and the little things that he knows about me that no one else ever will makes him the perfect stone in my life. We may fight and argue, call each other hurtful names and make mistakes but its the strength of the bond we have created that not even the most powerful force can tear apart, which has held us together. We are both complete opposites. I am dark, he is fair. I love rnb and techno whilst he adores screaming rock artists and heavy metal. I love shopping and clothes, he hates window shopping and throws on anything that looks decent. I adore taking pictures whilst he often likes to hide in the shadows. When it comes down to it though, we are so alike in a lot of ways as well especially when it comes to matters of the heart. We both wanted someone who was prepared to take the pitfalls of life and stand by one another through all the ups and down, love each other unconditinally, be faithful and truthful and share in one anothers dreams and aspirations. Many nights I had wished for someone who I could call my own and love me for who I am no matter what. And now I have finally discovered him and experienced being loved and loving another more deeply that I had ever imagined. I am finally content and happy with my life. I love you Sanel. Happy 1 year Hunni!!

Oooo Ooo Aiii Aiii Sexxy Eyes!!!

OMG only 3 more sleeps till our one year!! And I cannot wait! I know to others it might not seem like a big deal , afterall its just a date but to me 24.04.04 ( haha its all 4!) means the beginning of a new chapter of my life. From that day i was no longer by myself I had someone beside me to get through life, and when you find someone like that you never want to let go.
To be honest, i cant believe that I have even lasted this long with him. I was always so scared ( esp during the early days of our relationship) that he would find a flaw in me or worse find someone better than me and run off. So many times in the past I have been hurt and I was so scared to let him in, because I vowed to myself that if he broke my heart this time I would definetly never love again and just give up on everything altogether. But he's here and hes all miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine *squeezes sanel tight*

Anyway on another note, im really starting to despise uni...everything about it really pisses me off. I dont know whether i should take this as a sign that maybe this isnt the place for me or whether im just havin difficulty adjusting .
For one thing their assessment/marking procedures suck with a capital S. Who takes off marks for submitting an assingment in the wrong size buff envelope? Who takes off marks for putting question nos. in subheading? WELL SWINBURNE LECTURERS DOOOOOOOOOO grrrr.

Okay ill stop bitching and go stock up on A4 buff envelopes for future assingments.

i do not give a shit anymore

You think you are cool because you know all these "connected" people at the clubs.
I hate the way that you think you can just come into my life uannounced after not having contact with me for so long and expect everything to be like they used to be.
I hate the way that you think because you're older can tell me what is right and wrong about my life.
I hate the way you try to make me feel like im insignificant next to you.
I hate the fact that after being friends for so long this is all i mean to you now.
I hate the fact that i care so much but you probabaly do not give a shit.
Don' t try and pretend that everything is fine when you know its not.
Just because we don't see each other anymore does not mean that you have the right to treat me like shit when you do talk to me.
I can not believe that you are going to let HIS issues get in the way with our friendship, just don't expect me to be there for you to pick up the pieces.
I am not going to talk shit about you to people because my parents taught me better then that.
In fact, after tonight i am not going to let you upset me no longer.
Friends forever was the promise made but now i am going to have to break that.
No, actually that promise was broken a long time ago...by YOU

As you can tell, ive had my first blogger bitch. about a now ex-friend. Just makes me think about what type of person i use to be to even make friends with people like that. I guess i never relaly noticed the importance of the word "friend' until now, where ive learnt that it is indeed a very special word and shouldn't be tossed around so casually.
I was alwyas one of those people who were like " i got tonnes of friends" but when i look now its not even that many. I have a lot of acquaintances but friends?...not that many.
Maybe i just do have a high standard for who i can apply that label to or maybe I have just met the wrogn people in life so far.
As ive mentioned before the only constant and "forever friend" i do have is Sanel. In fact it's better hes my double b-boy...best friend and boyfriend.

Okay i've got a big smile on my face thinking about him now.. =] hehe. See how he just makes me feel so much better even when im in a shithouse mood. He's my squidgy pill!

Okay ill shut up now!

i need inspiration

I didnt realise that it was so soon and i still have no idea what to get him. Im talking about our one year anniversary. How do you show 12 months of love through a gift?
I was thinking of making him something but my artistic skills are somewhat laughable and i thought about hiring a limo, hot air balloon, penguins (?) to make the day more special but am having no luck whatsoever...then again i never knew that you could hire a penguin.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHH its like 11 days away and i have no clue what to dooooooooo
*screams*

this is a call for help!!!! any suggestions???

doubting the world

Sorry all, havent had time to update the blog lately. Theres a number of reasons for this, uni commitments etc.. but I have to say that lately i havent really felt like blogging. Seems that theres nothing exciting happening in my life to make a big drama about it on here. Or maybe its just me being lazy.....

Well its the big 12 months soon....can hardly believe it one year of my life has gone past with this amazing person before ive even had a chance to blink. I had written a whole post up filled with all my memorable moments of us as a couple but i guess it was too mushy for blogger to post up because my computer froze just when i was about to post it!!!

Basically all i can say right now is that if it wasnt for him i dont know where i'd be or what type of person I would have become if he hadnt of come and saved me from my past.

I know this is a very old song but I think its just one tune that can describe how i feel.

You've got way -Shania Twain

You've got a way with me

Somehow you got me to believe

In everything that I could be

I've gotta say -- you really got a way

You've got a way it seems

You gave me faith to find my dreams

You'll never know just what that means

Can't you see... you got a way with me

It's in the way you want me

It's in the way you hold me

The way you show me just what love's made of

It's in the way we make love

You've got a way with words

You get me smiling even when it hurts

There's no way to measure what your love is worth

I can't believe the way you get through to me

Okay Ill stop being mushy now...got to go and get ready for uni.

Milestones

I was just browsing on the net this morning and i came across my old blog and I found something that I never got around to finishing and I thought since this morning I dont really have anything in particular to rant about besides being worried that I might have potentially stuffed up my economic mid semester test because i moved BOTH the demand and supply line on my diagrams instead of one ( how was i supposed to know!!!!!) and dreading sitting the 1 and a half hour maths test this afternoon. So heres a few milestones as i like to call it in mine and sanel's relationship...almost been a year and i can hardly believe it.

* Grace [&] Sanel Moments*
* Our first date at the aquariam and then chapel st.
* Our first kiss at the beach
* The hug in the car on Chapel st.
* Going to Galatic Circus and gettin all those tickets ( i still have them!!) ^.^
* eating KFC for breakfast
*breaking your bed hahahhaha ( not wat you think guys ...drity minded ppl)
* Going to see your niece and buying her the fish
* The night of the formal
* Our various beach trips at night
* Bumming at your house
* Playing links late at night *.^
* Our sms fights
* Our walk around Albert Park Lake
* Late night phone sessions
* Smooshy time ( yes i know it sounds gross but its great)
* Tutoring Sessions
* Meeting the parents
* My one month present *thank you hunni!*
* Eating out ..hahaha
* Pizza + Nemo @ my place

_____Added____

*New Years Eve at Novotel where we watched the fireworks

*Working at Accord for 3 mths together

*Lunchtimes in the city( and that corner =D )

*Going on the bike for the first time along the coastline

*Our 12 hr "roadtrip" to the 12 apostles

*That unforgettable sunset

*My 18th birthday in the city ( we kick ass on the pokies!!)

*When you came to those Viet/Chinese NY festivals with me ( pork stix!!)

* The day we "came out of the closet"

* My taxi ride with 'Akbar" to come see you at 1am in the morning

* 25.02.05

*Going grocery shopping ( esp. at BILO haha)

* The day we took your niece to the beach

*Rollerblading at Rollerama ( weeeeeee!)

* More to be added later!!

So as you can see I have had so many experiences both good and bad with him. But each of these moments are poignant points in which i will cherish and remember. Whenever im feeling down i just think of some of the positive moments I have shared with him and instantly i feel like i can dust myself off and face the world again.

More recently I was asked by one of my friends on msn " Do you really love him?" , and the funny thing was though although i have been with him for so long no one has really sat down and asked me that. Neither have I sat down and really thought about all the reasons why I love him and appreciate what i do have rather than get upset over stupid things. Another thing she asked me was "How do you know its for real?" . I guess theres no real answer to that is there? But to me I know that this is the connection I have longed for and wanted from a significant other. THe most important things in our relationship is that we have trust, love, boundaries and a strong friendship. And i think that all these qualities is what has made our relationship last and remain strong. In particular, I think that our friendship is something that makes us closer than ever. In fact, sometimes i feel that he is my best friend rather than my boyfriend. And its the most amazing feeling ever when you realise that you have met someone who you can connect with at all levels, someone that can be your soulmate, bestfriend and lover all rolled into one ( like a smooshy ball ^.^ ) is the best thing that I could possibly ask for. So Im glad i have now really sat down and appreciated that i have an amazingly cute and wonderful man by my side to get through life with.

I guess this struck me as something that we, as a society have failed to do over this generation. It seems that all of us are so absorded in our fast paced life that we rarely have the time to just pull back a bit and analyze our life and our relationships we share with our loved ones. I guess in a way, i think this is the reason why I was feeling a bit depressed this last month ( see my previous ramblings for further details) because i never once really sat down and saw that my problems were self created and could be solved if i just really put my time into making my life work for me.

Sometimes we think we have it all and that our life is so good that we dig up unecessary problems to ponder over when really they would not exist unless we want them to.

So stop today for a minute and tell someone that you love them or are thinking about them ( and no Im not trying to sound like those LOVE PEACE MAKE LOVE hippies) even if its just an sms to someone who you haven't talked to in awhile it will not only make that person's day brighter but you'll also feel good.

Then again, who am i to give "spread da love" speeches when only 1 week ago i was all " i dont have friends"....oh dear maybe i have a split personality. rah.

Going to go cram some more Ogive ( And to my maths lecturer its an ogive with a g like in "grace' not OJIVE !!!) into my warped up head.