Im suffering from CSD-Help!! :)

Before I start on today's blog I just want to apologise about my last post where I promised pics of soem yummilicious food...freakin blogger wouldn't load up the pics!! Will try again this time at the end of this entry and see how we go!

On another note..I think I have a compulsive shopping disorder. After yesterday's outing to the city, I have decided to leave my debit card at home when on future shopping trips because I cannot control my impulsive purchasing power * hangs head in shame*. I brought out about $200 with me with the intention of purchasing "the perfect pair of jeans" but came home with shitloads of bagz filled with nothing even close to resembling jeans!!! Am I the only one??!

List of buys from Grace's shameful trip to the City

• 1x hoodie top from Lolitta ( did i mention they are having a warehouse sale on the weekend in Sth Yarra?! If interested let me know and i will pass on details :P)
• 3x tops from Temt ( they had a 50% off sale!)
• 1x pair of skinny legz from Ally Fashions
• 1 x sexy hot bra from Bras n Things ( woot woot! feel the padding girls!)
• 1x stuffed pig from Toy Kingdom ( for Shellz!)
• 1x pair of Jim Beam Boxer Shorts from Bras n Things ( I never knew they sold guy stuff)
• 3x singlets from cotton on
• 2x winter stripy tops from Bardot

Please do let me know if you suffer from Compulsive Shopping Disorder (CSD). Im thinking of setting up a support club for us!!! " Hi My name is Grace and Im a CSD sufferer...I love shopping!!! *jumps up and down*".......

Anyways so besides from being broke I am also feeling really really sick. Has anyone gotten those flu shots lately? Cos im thinking of gettin them...but by how Im feeling today I think its too late.

My head's too groggy for anymore thoughts so I will leave you with some pictures ( IF THEY BLOODY WORK) of those pics I have found when ive been blog-stalking for cupcake pictures and the like..enjoy! :)

EDIT: PICS ARE NOT WORKINGGGGGGGGG!!!! GRRRR.....

All is good in the end

I have finally finished my dreaded exams...I know I shouldnt even be complaining considering I had only 2 whereas everyone else had 4, but I was just so over the whole thing!! NO MORE INT. BUSINESS EVER AGAIN ( i hope!)

Anyways..Im really pumped about tommorow its the opening of KRISPY KREME DONUTS...yes I know I am getting wayy to excited about donuts buh zomg everyone I have spoken to is rocking up tommorow..its like as if the bloody Queen is comin to Melbourne. No actually, I think LESS ppl. would come if she was to be in Melb. haha. And it looks like I will be buyign shitloads of boxes ( for cuz and friends) but me n shellz are definetly goin to be good and go to the gym after stuffin ourselves with donuts :)

Talking about the gym.. am thinkin of grabbin a 10 pass at Kingclub as opposed to joining up for a 15mth contract....who knows what can happen in that time. But I want to take a proactive role in my health...Its not even about lookin like a supermodel thin or having flat abs. Its about being healthy and I guess I have realised that by being as I am I will have lotsa health probs when I get older. I accepted a long time ago that Im not your typical flat chested asian who is a size 6 or 8...i mean I have nothing against them either! I have plenty of friends who fit that description and we always have the same remarks about each other " I want your tits" vs. "i want you stomach" ..haha. I guess that is so true about us girls, we always want what we cant have! Eg. curly/straight hair, big/small tits, skinny/curvy figure, job/nojob, single/attached...etc.etc. Isnt that so strange?

The rest of this week will consist of catching up with various people...shellz, carol, ping, monica , christine and of course Sanel. Definetly going to be planning a few things..karaoke night at my place ( like the old days!), want to get wasted and dance for hours :) and SHOP SHOP SHOP.

My "must haves" are: new skinny legs ( pref. black or denim), pair of leather bootz and a casual dress ( that can be worn with leggings and boots). Guys! Let me know if you knwo of where I can find ne of these items at good price :P

Despite my depressin entry we( Me and Sanel) are back on good terms. Not to say there are things in our relationship that we still needa wrk out but we at least got things out in the open and I heard some things from him that I guess I didnt want to hear and vice versa..but we are now at a level where I feel we understand each other a bit better.

He has got 2 weeks off from work neway and we are using that time to catch up and spend heaps of time together. Some people may think wtf you have been together for 2 years! But the reality of our relationship is that I only get to see him once every week due to wrk, uni, frends..bla bla bla. So I am trying to use this opportunity to see him more. And its good! Like today we just bummed around at my place, I made him lunch (grace in the kitchen!!) and we watched a shitty movie ( I picked it out..my taste in movies needs adjustment!!*blushes*) . And its just so good to be able to spend quality time with him. Its our anniversary on Saturday..it will be 2 years and 2 months :)

I will be going back to work next week..or so I think. Had some issues with my pay recently...I wont go into it too much but I am starting to get shitty about the fact that they never pay me on time. And now its as if my manager is avoiding me...hmmmm Mental Thought: Are they going bankrupt?!!!!!

Anyways going to go now...been keeping myself amused by blog-surfing food blogs! Yes after seeing Kelly's delicious dishes I have decided to try cooking some stuff again. Jen! You will have to come over and have a cooking day :) ( like we have always talked about!!). So I will leave you all with some various yummy pictures I have found from some other food blogs.. everyone say " MMMM YUMMY!"

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A Broken Promise

Sorry about my absence from this blog..been busy with the details of my life, uni, work, boyf, friends... argh. Im in a shit mood atm. Isn't it weird when you are upset, thats usually whenyou find time yourself to come and blog? Or maybe thats just me..god im so morbid!

Why am I in a shit mood? Well lets just say ive had a originally what started out as a good day RUINed. I am not here to blame anyone but simply just reflect on a few of my thoughts. I wont go into details of what happened..but basically "S" let me down badly today. In all our 2 years together, I dont think he has dissapointed and hurt me this much yet. and no im not over-reacting.

When you promise someone something..it is like an unwritten obligation that you fulfill? I am not perfect, and I will admit that I have broken many promises before, to people I care about. I guess it is true what they say about karma then..

Another thought...I think a relationship is about sacrifice. As in, you sometimes have to do things that you may not like/enjoy as much as your partner but you do it anyway because all you want to do is see them happy. Im not talking about getting your way all the time, but its about makign each other happy. After all, isnt that why we are with each other? Isnt that why there are millions of songs, books about it...we are all raised up with the idea that we have to go through life and find "the one". So I guess when you think you may have found it, you hold on so tight, like a small child to its treasured toy..and we dont let go.

So yes back to the sacrificing thing..I believe that sacrifice plays a big deal in it all. So when I am given the excuse of " I want time to myself"....I am not saying that you cant have your private time, in fact I understand the sheer pleasure of just having time with yourself. I actually admire those ppl that can go to the movies by themselves, as I would never have the guts to do that. but you know that un-wind time and I would never deny you of that. Yet, when you tell me that " I dont want to do something just to make you happy yet I dont wannna doit/make myself unhappy" then I have a problem with it.

I am not asking to be number one. In fact, all my life I have never been number one to anyone so why would I want that now? But for you to basically turn around and be like "i dont care about you, your feelings, how important it was to you,..i come first", thats just downright wrong. Honestly, is that someone who sounds like they want to be in a relationship?

You dont want the responsibility of caring about another person's feelings, actions, thoughts then dont be in a relationship. I have nothing against single people, I completely accept that not everyone is a sad ass romantic like myself that wants to keep bloody searching until she finds "the one". I know that there are people in the world that are perfectly happy at having a relationship with me, myself and I. They aren't conceited, I only get concerned when someone who is like that is in a relationship cos clearly they shouldnt be.

As much as it hurts me, after 2 years of putting everything into this relationship, if that is the person you really are and they are your priorities in life then I guess we weren't meant to be. Because its not fair to you, to deny yourself of being single and its also not fair to me, to drag me along for the ride when im the idiot here thinking that this is going to actually have a future.

Perhaps I am an idiot for loving you too much. I knew it from the beginning that it would be different, that this kind of love I felt wasnt like my past relationships...never have I felt that I love someone so much it hurts and I was scared of it. Scared because it was new to me and also scared about what would happen if one day you were gone from my life. ANd i guess it is this kind of love that still makes excuses for you, that you can change and that all this shit is in my head. I guess when you believe in something so much you just dont want to give up until you see your desired result.

I dont know anymore..I really dont.